Friday, January 18, 2013

How to Have a Successful Date Night at Home

Having a Date Night at home can be romantic and save a lot of money.  However it can also be frustrating and boring if not done right.

My hubby and I have a lot of date nights at home.  Because it gives us a chance to spend some quality time together and it saves us money on an expensive dinner and move.  So I wanted to share some tips for making your date night a success.

1) Make a date.  It may sound silly but ask your partner if they want to go on a date with you, and set the date and time.  For example Saturday night at 8pm after the kids go to bed.

2) Decide.  After you set the date and time talk about what you want to do.  Do you want to watch a move, play a game, or just sit and talk.  You can decide to do anything that you both agree on and want to do.

3)  Compromise.  If you decide to watch a move or play a game, remember to compromise on the movie or game.  My hubby and I don't always agree on what we want to watch but I will let him pick I just tell him to try and pick something he thinks I may want to watch too.  I can tell if he has tried and it means a lot to me to know he is thinking about me when he makes the decision on what to watch.  Plus he feels like he is part of the date because he is making decisions about it too.

4) Make it special.  It is important to make your date night at home special.  So we tend to decide on a special treat we want that we normally don't get.  This can be a special dessert, a special drink, or any thing that we don't normally do or get.

5) Get Ready.  Just because your date night is at home does not mean you should show up with sweat pants and a ponytail.  Get ready for your date, you don't need to dress up real nice (unless you want to) but you should get dressed and do your hair and makeup.  This will help it feel more like a date instead of just a night in with the family.

6) Remember your on a Date. Just because you are home does not mean you should resort to your normal routine of each laying down on a separate couch while watching a move.  Sit together on the same couch, and hold hands if you want.  Remember you are on a date so treat it like one.

These are the things we do to make our date nights at home special.  And I promise if you do them your date night will mean more than just a night in.

Do you have Date Nights at home? 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Communicating with your Spouse

When I learned about communicating in a relationship I learned about how to communicate during an argument.  Even now when I look up communicating with your spouse or partner all I get a lot of information about how to communicate when you disagree.   But I want too communicate with my hubby even when we are not fighting.

So this weeks goal has been communication.  I could not have picked a better week for this goal because this week has been a pretty busy week at our house, with many decisions needing to be made.  So every night after we put the kids to bed my hubby and I got together to sit and talk.

Since we are apart all day, and then when he does get home we have the kids to deal with talking does not usually happen.  Even over dinner the kids want attention so we don't get much more in than "How was your day? Fine. Yours?"  Making the time later in the evening after the kids are in bed really gives us a chance to just sit relax and talk with each other.

By carving out a few minutes each night we can find out what is going on with each other and talk about the things that need to get done and make some decisions on things.  This also helps prevent fights because we are both involved in the decisions and we can discuss things as they come up.

It is not always easy to come up with things to talk to one another about, especially if you have not just sat and talked in a while.  So here are a few ideas of things you can talk to your partner about, to get you started on a nightly communication ritual with your spouse.

The Kids - Anything that has to do with the kids behavior, school, medical, birthdays, or just things to do with them.

Your Home - No matter if you own or rent there are always things that break or things you want to change that you can discuss.

Bills - If you are the one that pays them, then let your partner know what has been paid and what still needs to be paid.  Discuss the finances and let your partner know if funds are low or if you have extra to put in savings.  If you don't pay the bills then ask about them so you are kept in the loop. This helps prevent a LOT of fights when everyone is on the same page with the money.

Your Day - Discuss the good and the bad that is going on in your daily life and your partners life.  Make sure you listen to what is going on in their life too.

Date Nights - Figure out when you can have them, what you want to do when you have them, and what the budget is for them.

Vacations - Decide what family you will visit this year, when you can visit them.  Places you want to go, dream vacations, and maybe trips without the kids (even if it may not happen for years, day dream about it together)

These are just a few things to get you talking with your spouse.  The important thing is getting into a routine where you talk often.  It has done wonders for my hubby and I, we don't fight much and we both are in the loop for everything.  We just have to remember to keep doing it!

Do you talk to your partner?  How often do you sit down to just chat with each other?

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

I Told You So

 I can not even tell you how many times in my marriage I have said this or wanted to say this.  I mean come on if my hubby would just listen to me sometimes things would go a LOT smoother (and I am sure he feels the same about me too).   

Well yesterday was one of those times.  The girls have been sick for several weeks now, the doctor said it was a viral thing and we needed to wait it out.  A couple weeks ago I thought it could be something else and wanted to take them back in.  Nope my hubs would not have it, and to avoid a fight I backed down.  Well yesterday we find out I WAS RIGHT!  Yep, the girls have exactly what I thought they did and I took them in to the doctor and we are now treating for this.

I am sure any of you that have ever been in a relationship understand how much I wanted to pick up the phone call my hubby at work and say I TOLD YOU SO!  But alas I did not do that.  I decided to be the bigger person here and realize that we all do make mistakes and instead of rubbing it in his face, which would surly have just cause a fight I would just let him know what was going on, bring him in to the conversation about the girls and let us both decide what steps to take now.

I have learned over the years that one of the big secrets of a happy healthy relationship is learning to bite your tongue   And bite my tongue I did.  We had no fight, I did not make my hubby feel bad, and everything that needed to get done did.

So this weeks lesson/goal for me is learning to bite my tongue.  It is not always easy but it sure does make for less fights and happier times.

Do you say I Told You So?  How do you feel when it is said to you?

Monday, January 7, 2013

Love Notes

I personally like to get little love notes here and there letting me know that my hubby is thinking about me.  However I don't like it to get too annoying and be too much too often.  I think my hubs feels the same it is nice to get them once in a while but if it is everyday and they are left all over the place well they loose that magic "Awe, she is thinking about me" feeling.

My husband is in the Reserves and has to travel a lot, and this past weekend he was away again.  I decided to put a little love note in his bag so when he got to his hotel he would get it and know I was thinking about him.  It was nice because he called and thanked me for the note so I knew he appreciated it.  It is not easy to travel so much and being away from home is nice sometimes, but it is nicer to know that you are missed when you are away.

I don't plan on leaving these little gems around the house or stuffing them in his bag every time he goes away but once in a while he will be surprised with a little note from me letting him know how much I do love him and that he is missed.

Do you leave little love notes for you spouse?  Do you like to get little love notes?

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Complimenting Your Husband

I tend to be a bit of a control freak, and that leads me to be critical at times with other.  Because people don't do things the way I would do them, I can get frustrated and annoyed.  Since my husband is my closest friend and the person I spend the most time with he tends to get the brunt of this from me.

So this week I am focusing on not being judgmental or critical and working on complimenting my husband more. Men are very much like us women and they want to feel appreciated, handsome, and needed.

Here are a few different ways to complement your spouse (or significant other)

The first is the most common, Physical Appearance.  If you are like me when someone says wow you look great today or those pants make your butt look great!  You feel like a million bucks.  Men are the same, well maybe not exactly the same but telling your husband that the shirt he is wearing looks really great on him or asking if he has lost a few pounds because he is looking really good will make him feel great!

Letting your husband know he is Appreciated is not as hard as it may seem.  Start by saying thank you, and letting him know that it was great of him to help with the dishes (even if you have to ask him to help).  Remember how great it feels when you get a pat on the back and are told thank you.  The more you thank him and show your appreciation with these little things the more likely he will be to do more of them too (so it could be a win win).

Men really need and want to feel Needed.  I find this to me my hardest challenge  because I do most of the stuff around the house and my husband can also travel for work quite a bit so I need to be independent and able to do it all on my own.  However, I do need my husband and letting him know that is not always easy but it can be done I just have to remember to do it.  Simple things like telling him how much the kids and I love him.  Letting him know things that I need him to do, and showing appreciation when he does them.

I know I said this is my goal this week, but this is something I need to work on all the time.  Everyone loves to be complimented and by showing my hubby how much I care and what he means to me I know it will do wonders for our relationship.

Do you complement your spouse?  And what are some of the ways you complement them?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Years Date Night at Home

I don’t like to have New Year’s Resolutions.  I have found that whenever I do make one I never follow through with it for very long.  So I tend to set goals for myself each year instead.  This year one of my goals is to focus on my Marriage more.  Since having kids, my husband and I tend to spend more time focusing on the kids than we do on each other.  We have tried Marriage counseling and were pretty much told that we have a great relationship we just need to spend more time on one another and learn to communicate more.  

Why create a blog about it you ask, well I tend to let things go and forget to focus on my husband and I.  But I have found that blogging keeps me focused on a task (no I am not new to blogging).  So my goal with this blog is to keep me motivated and focused on my marriage for 2013 and maybe years after (depends on how much fun I have with this blog). 

Too kick off 2013 I planned an awesome date night at home with my hubby.  Neither one of us likes to go out on New Year’s Eve, so I went out and picked up a nice bottle of champagne and after we put the kids to bed enjoyed a little alone time.  We sat around and talked for a couple hours and really just enjoyed spending some time alone together.  I had planned to get a Pay Per View movie for us to watch till it was time for the ball to drop, but there was nothing on that we both liked.  So we ended up watching the Twilight Zone marathon on Sci-Fi. 

I know it does not seem like a very exciting night but that is exactly how we wanted it.  I rang in the New Year with the man I love and we got to spend some much needed time alone together.  It is so important in a marriage to get that alone time with your spouse.  And even if you cannot make it out for a date night, you can have an awesome date night right at home, it just takes a little planning.  

What are your goals for 2013?