Communicating with your Spouse

When I learned about communicating in a relationship I learned about how to communicate during an argument.  Even now when I look up communicating with your spouse or partner all I get a lot of information about how to communicate when you disagree.   But I want too communicate with my hubby even when we are not fighting.

So this weeks goal has been communication.  I could not have picked a better week for this goal because this week has been a pretty busy week at our house, with many decisions needing to be made.  So every night after we put the kids to bed my hubby and I got together to sit and talk.

Since we are apart all day, and then when he does get home we have the kids to deal with talking does not usually happen.  Even over dinner the kids want attention so we don't get much more in than "How was your day? Fine. Yours?"  Making the time later in the evening after the kids are in bed really gives us a chance to just sit relax and talk with each other.

By carving out a few minutes each night we can find out what is going on with each other and talk about the things that need to get done and make some decisions on things.  This also helps prevent fights because we are both involved in the decisions and we can discuss things as they come up.

It is not always easy to come up with things to talk to one another about, especially if you have not just sat and talked in a while.  So here are a few ideas of things you can talk to your partner about, to get you started on a nightly communication ritual with your spouse.

The Kids - Anything that has to do with the kids behavior, school, medical, birthdays, or just things to do with them.

Your Home - No matter if you own or rent there are always things that break or things you want to change that you can discuss.

Bills - If you are the one that pays them, then let your partner know what has been paid and what still needs to be paid.  Discuss the finances and let your partner know if funds are low or if you have extra to put in savings.  If you don't pay the bills then ask about them so you are kept in the loop. This helps prevent a LOT of fights when everyone is on the same page with the money.

Your Day - Discuss the good and the bad that is going on in your daily life and your partners life.  Make sure you listen to what is going on in their life too.

Date Nights - Figure out when you can have them, what you want to do when you have them, and what the budget is for them.

Vacations - Decide what family you will visit this year, when you can visit them.  Places you want to go, dream vacations, and maybe trips without the kids (even if it may not happen for years, day dream about it together)

These are just a few things to get you talking with your spouse.  The important thing is getting into a routine where you talk often.  It has done wonders for my hubby and I, we don't fight much and we both are in the loop for everything.  We just have to remember to keep doing it!

Do you talk to your partner?  How often do you sit down to just chat with each other?